I use social media a lot. It’s a form of art and self expression. A way of reaching out and communicating with others.
While talking with my therapist this week about social media etiquette, I realized that I moderate what I post way too much. My Instagram archive is full of pictures that I posted for a twenty minute period, only to take them down out of fear of messing up my theme. My Twitter drafts are full of outdated tweets that I’m too scared to send.
The question I’ve been struggling with since that day: am I putting my best foot forward or am I just afraid of showing too much of myself to the world?
I use social media as an outlet. I don’t use it to brag or talk about only the good in life. I know well enough not to compare myself to the people I follow anymore. After struggling with body image and spending years in a cycle of body-shaming, and a couple of months in a residential treatment facility for my eating disorder, I stopped. I started following body positive accounts and stopped relying on models and pro-anorexia accounts for my instagram feed.
Making the decision to unfollow people is hard. It takes so much willpower to realize that some accounts online, even ones ran by close friends, are toxic.
The answer to my question is that I was afraid. I didn’t have a clear grasp on what I was using social media for. I used it for years in very negative ways.
Moving into this new chapter of my life, I want to make sure that my social media reflects what I stand for. I believe in body-positivity and I want to be happy. I refuse to get sucked into the negative energy and self-loathing of some social media accounts.